God NEVER makes mistakes

    There were many twists and turns along my journey to meet my daughter Aliyah or they may have been signs I will never know for sure......the first was that my husband and I had actually decided to start trying for another baby back in late August of 2009 I called my OB's office to set up an appointment but was informed they were booked out until January of 2010!!! Crazy huh?? Finally in January 2010 I went in for the removal of my IUD at that time my Dr warned me that since I had the IUD for close to 4 years it would be a while before I could conceive up to a year. Well.....I became pregnant within a month of my IUD removal.
 
   Shortly after I discovered I was pregnant I started bleeding and cramping, worried something was terribly wrong and scared to death I called my OB she told me that it either was nothing serious because some women have minor bleeding in the first weeks of pregnancy BUT that bleeding was also sometimes the first sign of an early miscarriage and there was nothing they could do to stop it. :(  I was advised to stay in bed and take it easy sure enough after a few days of rest the bleeding stopped. {something most may not know is that as high as 80% of baby's conceived with Ds miscarry :(  so in other words these baby's are miracles!} Now I just had to wait until my first prenatal visit at 10 weeks along for the ultrasound to confirm if there was a viable fetus in my womb....Crying from pure joy I was so relieved when I saw the tiny bean shape with the center flickering away, it was my baby's beating heart! Thank God!!

    As my prenatal care progressed I was asked multiple times if I would be interested in the triple screening test for "birth defects" by the way may I say I HATE THAT TERM!! Anyway.... I refused it twice then the third time I was asked I agreed to have it done. I remember so clearly what I said to the Dr "it wouldn't matter anyway" little did I know!! By this point in my pregnancy it was cutting it close to the time frame in which these screening tests needed to be done so I was sent to my local lab that same day for the blood work as for the ("nuchal translucency scan" I did NOT know this at the time but it's a fancy word for a special ultrasound of the baby's neck.) I was sent out of Sacramento to Roseville CA about 30 minutes away at a later date.

    I went in for the ultrasound portion of my prenatal screening I was so excited because I was going to see my baby again! :) My baby moved around like crazy so the poor ultrasound Tech was having a hard time getting the measurements she needed for the screening test. Finally my little one settled down enough for her to do her job, I could tell she was really trying to measure and remeasure "something" on the baby very carefully, she then asked the Perinatologist { A subspecialty of obstetrics concerned with the care of the fetus and complicated, high-risk pregnancies.} to come try he also measured and remeasured diligently. I at this time had no idea something was "wrong" the Doctor then asked if had I done the blood work yet? I told him I had done it in the Sacramento office he then told me they couldn't locate my blood results in the computer which he needed to combine with the ultrasound in order to come up with a proper screening result so he would need to call me later if anything came up.

    Well........ the Doctor never called. For some reason I just did not call him to follow up which I usually do with everything! I just simply assumed that with no call nothing was wrong. (Mind you that back when we had these screening tests done at 13 weeks my husband and I had decided since it was early in the pregnancy if there was something "wrong" we might consider terminating depending on the severity of the problem.)


   Four weeks later at my regular prenatal visit with my Ob (which I will call  Dr. Superman) asked me "if they (at the Prinatologist) had informed me that my baby's neck measured a little big?" I answered "No" and giggled because I thought to myself  "its probably a boy! My husband is built like that I guess my kid will play football someday, cool!" Dr. Superman then excused himself  politely he went into his office next door but I could hear him speaking with somebody over the phone and he sounded upset he was kinda yelling at them. He then came into my room again sat down and said in a very kind tone "I'm sorry that they didn't call you with your results sooner, but the screening test show that your baby has a 1 in 73 chance of being born with DOWN SYNDROME."

I just looked at him with no reactionm I WAS IN SHOCK and I had my then 4 year old with me I didn't want her to see me cry. Dr Superman look concerned he asked me if I knew what Down syndrome was? I said "Yes." I then asked him "how can we know for sure?" he said a amniocentesis would be the next step to confirm or rule out the diagnosis. I asked him "What can I do now? What are my options I'm 17 weeks along?" He told me "It's up to you, you can do whatever you like at this point." { I will forever carry the guilt of my first reaction to this news } He set up my appointment for the next morning for the Amnio I then left. As soon as I got into my car I just started BAWLING!! like a baby, my poor daughter was in the back seat listening to me I told her that mommy's tummy was hurting. I then called my husband Ricky at work to let him know what was happening he was not upset by the news or he didn't show it.

    As you have read in my post about our diagnosis we did the Amino the next day it came back 2 weeks later confirming our baby was in fact going to be born with Translocation Down Syndrome then 2 weeks after that we found out that I was born with a chromosomal abnormality myself and so on and so on.....So as you can see there were a lot of twists and turns or "signs" whatever you want to call them, everything happens for a reason God was in control and he knew what he was doing even if I at first didn't want to follow the path he set for me.


     

Drying my tears, Staying Busy, Preparing Maricela for Aliyah's birth and The long awaited BIG Sister Party!

    In the mist of my pain and depression I tried my best to NEVER let on to my daughter Maricela {just four years old at that time} that something was "wrong" she would sometimes walk in on me sobbing my eyes out and just at the sight of her little confused face I would suck it up as best I could. Unfortunately she did catch me in full blown crisis a few times but thankfully my husband or mother were always there to distract her and explain "Mommy's crying cuz her tummy hurts" my tummy hurt A LOT in those days.


   Maricela enjoyed going to all of my prenatal appointments since I had 9 ultrasounds she loved seeing her baby sister on the screen swimming around in my belly. She was so excited! to be a Big Sister in her eyes  Aliyah was just her baby sister there was nothing else about it. Looking back on this....I envied the way Maricela was able to love Aliyah so purely even before they met face to face.

    As Aliyah's due date approached started I to educate Maricela about Down syndrome without giving her too much information as I didn't want to frighten her. I didn't tell her about the holes in Aliyah's heart until we were in the Cardiologist's office for a echo, I simply told her "that her baby sister had two boo boo's in her heart and after she was born the Dr's would make the boo boo's better."

    At bedtime I read her children's books about Down syndrome, I was trying to "prepare" my little girl for her baby sister's condition. Maricela is a very sharp kid so she understood everything! at four years old she was a little expert in Down syndrome.

Here are a few of the books we read together :)

http://www.amazon.com/Well-Paint-Octopus-Stephanie-Stuve-Bodeen/dp/1890627062

 http://www.amazon.com/My-Friend-Isabelle-Eliza-Woloson/dp/189062750X

http://www.amazon.com/Best-Worst-Brother-Stephanie-Stuve-Bodeen/dp/1890627682


    Despite the crying spells I did have a four year old little one after all, so I stayed pretty busy with her and all her activities she had during that summer she was in ballet, kid's zumba, swimming lessons, soccer and weekly playdates etc etc. I tried my best and kept going I didn't want my daughter's daily life to be affected by my grief I had to put on my fake smile for my daughter's sake and that's what I did.

These photo's were taken during those weeks and months following our prenatal diagnosis......

Soccer summer 2010

This is what was waiting for me in the mornings such a blessing 

playin with Grandpa 

evening practices 

My super model 

Birthday Parties 

visits to Big Mama's 

Playdates 

Mari & Z

Swim Lessons 

Shopping for Aliyah

2010 GO!!! GATORS!!!!

Mari and her Coaches 

end of another soccer season

Summer 2010 Zumba Classes

Go Mari!!! 

shake it baby girl!

Weekly Playdates with E

<3

One little angel Ms. R.B.

Zumba Performance   

more birthday parties Mari & Lil 'G

sword fights with C 

My strength 

My Joy 

My Hope 

Spending time with our Pumpkin 

Baby Sister will soon be here! 

BALLET 

Super Star 

My beautiful Ballerina 

Mari and T

Out Bowling 

Go baby you can do it!

My pretty Princess Mari 

Movies 

More Zumba 

Playdate with the Boy's 

Zoo 

Where I worked daily with Ms. Sandy's Parent Participation Preschool Sutterville Elementary 

Preschool Field Trip's once a week 

And finally my baby shower oops I mean Maricela's BIG Sister Party! Thrown by my Mami Teresa and Mama Felicia with the help of my Sis Eva.
There were so many friends and family there to support us with their love for our baby girl Aliyah.
Thank you ALL so much!
We love you!!!

Cristina, Alina and Ruben 

Jen and baby J

Luz and my Bro Miko

Lavina F. and family

My Tia's Chula's

Lavina's little Girl's

Michelle and baby Joey

V

Tatiana, Adriana, and Mama 

Cristina R

The Ketner Family

Chris and Mako

My beautiful Mami Teresa 

Korina thank you for all your advise 

The BIG Sister opening gifts for baby sis

pretty pink <3

My wonderful mother's 

My uncle Adan the strong man of the Oseguera Family

LOL

Cake Time!! thank you Tatiana for this yummy gift <3

Me and my BBF Chris 

Tia Irma and Tio Adan

My beautiful cousin Sandra 

Tia Rosa and Maria 

Diaper cake made by Christina 

We had everything we needed, the nursery was freshly painted a lovely shade of Lilac and decorated beautifully, the hospital bag was packed and ready to go all that was left was to wait for Aliyah to come into our world..........