The results were in....Did our unborn baby have Translocation Down syndrome by chance? Or did my husband or I carry a chromosome abnormality?
My husband Ricky and I walked into Ms. K's office (Ms. K was one of my many angels along the way and also happened to be our genetic counselor) she was always so kind every time we met and we will never forget that. We sat down to discuss the results of the tests on our genes, she showed us the paperwork again it was two pages one contained pictures of my chromosomes and the other of my husband's. I looked at them instantly I noticed I was missing one of my 21st chromosomes??? I knew exactly what this meant... It was not by chance that my baby had Down syndrome it was because of ME! I was the defective one! I made my baby have Down syndrome!!! : ( This additional information was so hard to take in it also meant that for future pregnancies I was at a high risk of having more children with Down syndrome or horrible Trisomy15 that was not compatible with life or a balance carrier like myself. "I couldn't even make a baby right!" I said to myself. I was a worthless woman, I felt so sorry for my husband how did he get stuck with me? I thought.
What about our daughter Maricela?? We knew she was born with no outside visible problems but she was NOT out of the woods yet! We learned she had a 50/50 chance of being a balanced carrier like myself
:( more pain!!! At this point Ricky refused to sign consent to have Maricela's genes tested. I was in no position to sign ANYTHING. We ended our meeting.
NOTE: This same afternoon I had previously set up my first meeting with a Parent Mentor at our local Down syndrome support group the DSIA http://downsyndromeinfo.org/
I held in the tears I was not gonna breakdown in front of Maricela again this is one thing I refused to do. I told Ricky I still wanted to keep our meeting with the Parent Mentor. We arrived to the park where the meeting/playdate was to take place. I was so nervous to meet this Parent and more so her daughter born with Ds who I had requested she bring to the meeting. I needed to see a child with Down syndrome face to face. As we walked up to the playground my eyes were dashing side to side trying to find this woman and her kids. My eyes stopped instantly when I saw little G (the Parent Mentor's little girl, 9 years old at the time) She was spinning around with her sister L on a merry go round they were all smiles no suffering was going on....I though to myself. Then I saw H the Parent Mentor walking up with her youngest in her arms she shattered any old stereotypes I had left in my brain, a young mother of three beautiful girls.... she was just a typical mommy. Although I had just received some life changing news the sight of this family was conforting to me.
H introduced herself and had her little one's say hello to us, I remember I was trying my hardest not to stare at G but I think she was on to me. When it was her turn to say hello to us she stayed looking down and said very quietly under her breathe said "hi" H must have not heard G say a word because she then told G "G say hello honey." G then sighed like a little total diva and said "I already diiiid mom." with a slight eye roll. LOL this was so funny to me she was a very typical girl. I admired her little feistiness and spunk. After the introductions our girls ran off to play.
I then sat down with H and proceeded to bombard this poor lady with a million questions about the parenting portion of raising a child w/ Ds. This was very helpful as I couldn't find these types of answers online. She was able to answer all of my questions which was great I now had some answers that I so desperately needed in that very difficult time. Now it was time to go the kids were getting hungry as we were saying our goodbyes G ran up to H and jumped up to hug her they kissed and toughed noses it was the sweetest sight ever! H then asked G what she wanted for dinner she promptly replied "hot dog's and french fries." Wow how "normal" I thought to myself she's just a regular kid with typical kid taste's in food. We finished our goodbyes and left the park, in the car ride home I was able fantasize about my baby girl's future what she might be like...Would she be that high functioning? Would she be able to walk and run and speak and express herself like little G??
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